I apologize to all the Macbook owners, the brave souls still rocking first-gen iMacs, the desperate, the crazy, and anyone else who has realized that Atomic Combat's window can't be resized to allow them to play the game. I actually just finished up a fixed version and will be uploading the improved app to my website tonight (after midnight, when there is a lull in downloads...) Nothing too impressive or fancy, the app just checks your vertical resolution and adjusts the app window appropriately; the only problem thus far is that instead of implementing a completely new graphics function I simply scale everything down... multiple times a second... So the game is a little sluggish when animating at the smaller resolution, but at least it works!
In other news, after this resolution debacle I decided that I needed a better issue-resolution and user-communication method, so I started the Mojiferforum... So if you need help or want to complain about whatever oddity I've shat out, you can do so relatively easily now. I expect the Mojiferforum to become a disaster fairly quickly, filled with nothing but spam, midget and/or turtle porn, damned kids, and the occasional googly-eyed gibbon molester. Have fun!
...and in case you didn't know, you can view the Atomic Combat Top Ten right on my website. Right now the fine country of Sweden is beating all contenders with an amazing 5920 score! Soon enough I will publish my first list of bizarre country names that people have used, because all of you need help. Mental help.
--Mojiferous
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Atomic Combat Released Yet Again!
I'll probably post updates within the next few days about how the games getting along- I expect mixed feedback, so we'll see... However, I am quite proud of how the damn thing looks, and at least no one can say that this release is somehow uglier than the last!
--Mojiferous
Saturday, November 29, 2008
First Screenshots of Atomic Combat 2.0!!!
Atomic Combat 2.0 is progressing nicely, with almost all of the core finished (all that really needs to be added is a help file.) The game itself works wonderfully, and I've slowly ironed most of the kinks out (including killing the ability to save & open games- it unbalanced things too much.) Right now the game not only features a score (!) which makes things infinitely more interesting, but also keeps track of said scores online, with an ongoing scoreboard in the works at mojiferous.com. Multiplayer is not a reality yet, as the complexity of the current build makes it less feasible for one very busy guy to implement... but maybe soon. In the meantime, enjoy some screenshots!
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Happy Birthday Mojiferous.com!
For the first time in years, I can actually say that I'm proud to be an American... The people of this country have proven that (except for a few vocal assholes) we are not all racist, ignorant, fear-mongering, ultra-christian fascists. I'm sitting here listening to Nina Simone's "Strange Fruit" and "Mississippi Goddamn", hoping that we may have finally closed a dark chapter in our history. But that's a subject for a different blog...
The real reason for my blabber today is the first birthday of mojiferous.com- One fine year of impossibly confusing games, nearly unplayable crap, weird mustache obsessions, and horrible programming! Over the last year I've transferred a little over 327 Gigabytes of games, and had about 54,000 unique visitors resulting in a little over 360,000 hits... Not exactly Google numbers, but pretty damned good for a guy who makes smoking ashtrays and racing pants. I'm finally putting the finishing touches on the new version of Atomic Combat and it should be ready for beta testing within a week or so (which means that King Thor and Kloewer should be preparing themselves now...) Anyway- Happy Birfdey Mojiferous.com!
The real reason for my blabber today is the first birthday of mojiferous.com- One fine year of impossibly confusing games, nearly unplayable crap, weird mustache obsessions, and horrible programming! Over the last year I've transferred a little over 327 Gigabytes of games, and had about 54,000 unique visitors resulting in a little over 360,000 hits... Not exactly Google numbers, but pretty damned good for a guy who makes smoking ashtrays and racing pants. I'm finally putting the finishing touches on the new version of Atomic Combat and it should be ready for beta testing within a week or so (which means that King Thor and Kloewer should be preparing themselves now...) Anyway- Happy Birfdey Mojiferous.com!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Updates! (and Mojiferous looks at Spore)
Despite how quiet my official blog has been, I've actually been busier than ever- however not busy with Mojiferous Industries projects... Sad but true.
Well... not entirely true- I have been working on an updated Atomic Combat on and off (in my [ha ha!] free time) for the last few months- I've built a new user interface that is simpler and more straight-forward, revamped the graphics to be bigger and prettier, and tried to rewire the gameplay so there is less emphasis on between-round construction and research, two areas which seem to have been the source of most complaints about the original Atomic Combat- players suddenly running out of missiles or not noticing that all of their factories have been destroyed and having to suffer for 10 turns because of it...
So I changed the gameplay to shift the focus of construction and development to a "pre-war" construction phase that happens before bombs start to drop (much like in real life- the likely scenarios for global nuclear war would probably not allow for construction of new bombers and warheads in between strikes.) Consequentially, the "meat" of the game, the actual attack phase encompasses a blizzard of attacks and counter attacks with no interruptions for construction of a new reactor, or to research more reliable missiles in the middle of a war. In many ways, this had made the actual nuclear combat a little more "realistic", with a number of concepts from the inability to research new technologies in the midst of an attack to multiple simultaneous attacks (a feature I initially included in the original, but it proved to be quite annoying when coupled with the construction/research/manufacturing model of AC1.0)
So here's a run-down of current features:
-new rendered (3d!?) graphics
-3 levels of zoom! (still determining why, other than "because I can")
-manufacturing/research phase shifted to beginning of game, reconstructed as a "card game" (modeled partially on Nuclear War.) That's right, all 4 countries draw cards, place 'em down, etc. etc. to determine how many of what kind of warheads, missiles, bombers, etc. they possess. There are of course "action" cards, almost like Mille Bornes, allowing you to screw another player... This is still early on in the development phase, so we'll see how it turns out.
-wind now dynamic- no longer will radioactivity simply float across the screen from left to right, but will be subject to changes (due to nuclear detonations and possibly storms)
-probably a whole hell of a lot more features as I get further into development, however seeing as how I'm only spending a few hours a week (of my precious little free time) on this project, it may be a while before everything is completely ready for beta testing...
In other news, I recently finally got around to playing Spore... Only to be supremely disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, the game looks nice, it's easy to play and advances fairly quickly. Which, truthfully, is also my biggest complaint about it- in the space of a day I advanced from a tiny one-celled organism to a galaxy-hopping creature and only "died" three times (eaten by slightly stronger creatures before [quickly] learning that evolution/creation got more advanced the farther west and south of my nest I wandered.) Admittedly I was playing at the easy level, but I also never read instructions and towards the latter stages of the game was so bored with it all I was skipping all the in-game tutorials just to make the game a little more difficult.
I was hoping for an in-depth game much akin to Will Wright's Sim Earth- so dense and difficult, without careful study of the instruction book and repeated trial and error you end up with a burning hellhole of a lifeless planet- but no, instead I got The Sims Wildlife Version. Even the so-called "city management" phase- pumped so heavily towards "fans of Sim City and Civilization" as it was- was a disappointment. I don't know what "fans of Sim City" the developers talked to, but tribal, global, and galactic phases had about as much city management as your average game of C&C (is my city making tanks? no? Can it make tanks? yes. Make tanks.) In the "global" (or whatever the hell Maxis calls it) phase I could build three (3!) different types of buildings, and six (6!) different vehicles- I probably spent a grand total of two (2!) minutes managing my cities- in fact the hardest part about the stage was figuring out what I was supposed to be doing after willfully ignoring the in-game tutorial. Sim City, a place where layout and design time stretches into days sometimes, it is not. In fact, the only times that I even thought about Sim City were to ponder how great a new version of the game would be with a Spore-like construction system, with endlessly different buildings, some downloaded live off the internet from other users, etc. etc. Now that would be a game I would not leave the house for...
Anyway, long story short: doing both of these things at once- redesigning Atomic Combat and playing Spore- has led me to a couple conclusions that will probably influence the outcome of Atomic Combat:
1) Razzle Dazzle should never come before depth (a full-3D world would be really cool, but I would rather improve AC's rather lackluster play than add graphical bells and whistles- Sim Earth [with it's mind blowing 256-color graphics and single-1.2Mb floppy install] was a more interesting game than Spore)
2) Finding a way to present necessary information to the user without a maze of menus and clicks is key to AC's improvement (Spore can tell you everything you needed to know, just with one screen...)
3) I need music and better sounds.
Anyway... Look for more soon!
--Mojiferous
Well... not entirely true- I have been working on an updated Atomic Combat on and off (in my [ha ha!] free time) for the last few months- I've built a new user interface that is simpler and more straight-forward, revamped the graphics to be bigger and prettier, and tried to rewire the gameplay so there is less emphasis on between-round construction and research, two areas which seem to have been the source of most complaints about the original Atomic Combat- players suddenly running out of missiles or not noticing that all of their factories have been destroyed and having to suffer for 10 turns because of it...
So I changed the gameplay to shift the focus of construction and development to a "pre-war" construction phase that happens before bombs start to drop (much like in real life- the likely scenarios for global nuclear war would probably not allow for construction of new bombers and warheads in between strikes.) Consequentially, the "meat" of the game, the actual attack phase encompasses a blizzard of attacks and counter attacks with no interruptions for construction of a new reactor, or to research more reliable missiles in the middle of a war. In many ways, this had made the actual nuclear combat a little more "realistic", with a number of concepts from the inability to research new technologies in the midst of an attack to multiple simultaneous attacks (a feature I initially included in the original, but it proved to be quite annoying when coupled with the construction/research/manufacturing model of AC1.0)
So here's a run-down of current features:
-new rendered (3d!?) graphics
-3 levels of zoom! (still determining why, other than "because I can")
-manufacturing/research phase shifted to beginning of game, reconstructed as a "card game" (modeled partially on Nuclear War.) That's right, all 4 countries draw cards, place 'em down, etc. etc. to determine how many of what kind of warheads, missiles, bombers, etc. they possess. There are of course "action" cards, almost like Mille Bornes, allowing you to screw another player... This is still early on in the development phase, so we'll see how it turns out.
-wind now dynamic- no longer will radioactivity simply float across the screen from left to right, but will be subject to changes (due to nuclear detonations and possibly storms)
-probably a whole hell of a lot more features as I get further into development, however seeing as how I'm only spending a few hours a week (of my precious little free time) on this project, it may be a while before everything is completely ready for beta testing...
In other news, I recently finally got around to playing Spore... Only to be supremely disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, the game looks nice, it's easy to play and advances fairly quickly. Which, truthfully, is also my biggest complaint about it- in the space of a day I advanced from a tiny one-celled organism to a galaxy-hopping creature and only "died" three times (eaten by slightly stronger creatures before [quickly] learning that evolution/creation got more advanced the farther west and south of my nest I wandered.) Admittedly I was playing at the easy level, but I also never read instructions and towards the latter stages of the game was so bored with it all I was skipping all the in-game tutorials just to make the game a little more difficult.
I was hoping for an in-depth game much akin to Will Wright's Sim Earth- so dense and difficult, without careful study of the instruction book and repeated trial and error you end up with a burning hellhole of a lifeless planet- but no, instead I got The Sims Wildlife Version. Even the so-called "city management" phase- pumped so heavily towards "fans of Sim City and Civilization" as it was- was a disappointment. I don't know what "fans of Sim City" the developers talked to, but tribal, global, and galactic phases had about as much city management as your average game of C&C (is my city making tanks? no? Can it make tanks? yes. Make tanks.) In the "global" (or whatever the hell Maxis calls it) phase I could build three (3!) different types of buildings, and six (6!) different vehicles- I probably spent a grand total of two (2!) minutes managing my cities- in fact the hardest part about the stage was figuring out what I was supposed to be doing after willfully ignoring the in-game tutorial. Sim City, a place where layout and design time stretches into days sometimes, it is not. In fact, the only times that I even thought about Sim City were to ponder how great a new version of the game would be with a Spore-like construction system, with endlessly different buildings, some downloaded live off the internet from other users, etc. etc. Now that would be a game I would not leave the house for...
Anyway, long story short: doing both of these things at once- redesigning Atomic Combat and playing Spore- has led me to a couple conclusions that will probably influence the outcome of Atomic Combat:
1) Razzle Dazzle should never come before depth (a full-3D world would be really cool, but I would rather improve AC's rather lackluster play than add graphical bells and whistles- Sim Earth [with it's mind blowing 256-color graphics and single-1.2Mb floppy install] was a more interesting game than Spore)
2) Finding a way to present necessary information to the user without a maze of menus and clicks is key to AC's improvement (Spore can tell you everything you needed to know, just with one screen...)
3) I need music and better sounds.
Anyway... Look for more soon!
--Mojiferous
Sunday, August 3, 2008
I haven't vanished!
Despite all evidence to the contrary, Mojiferous Industries is still busily churning out worthless goods for all to enjoy! I'm hard(ly) at work on the Republic of Thoronia game for the iPhone, and also making steady progress on another as of yet unnamed steampunk western game. I've been sidetracked as of late with work, so I haven't been able to shat out anything super fast, but rest assured that more Mojiferous hoohah will be hitting the shelves ASAP.
--Mojiferous
--Mojiferous
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Updated the website!
That's right... I guess I have done something in the last few months- I completely updated Mojiferous.com... Complete with animated header, tons of weird javascript, and hopefully an easier interface. I really liked my Tiddlywiki, but it was time for a format change, and it was much easier implementing my own. So if you have any problems, find any glaring errors, or find out that the damn page just doesn't work (which it won't without javascript enabled,) please email me and I'll fix it...
I've tested the site under Safari 3.1.1, Firefox 2.something & 3.0, Opera 9.5, Shira 2.2, and Camino 1.5.4- and everything appears to run nice and smooth, so my standards-based browsers are fine & dandy... The IE people out there will have to let me know, but I have the funny feeling it's going to be a disaster!
--Mojiferous
I've tested the site under Safari 3.1.1, Firefox 2.something & 3.0, Opera 9.5, Shira 2.2, and Camino 1.5.4- and everything appears to run nice and smooth, so my standards-based browsers are fine & dandy... The IE people out there will have to let me know, but I have the funny feeling it's going to be a disaster!
--Mojiferous
Friday, May 23, 2008
Where the hell have I been?
And what have I been doing? I certainly haven't released any new works of inane crap recently...
The last few weeks I have been working with King Thor on the Republic of Thoronia game, and undertaking that hopefully will be ready sometime in late july/early august... and that's all I've got to say about it right now... no screen shots, no special "inside the game"... nothing. Maybe as june wears on we'll have some kind of sneak peak.
Otherwise, I haven't worked on shit. I got a cold, my girlfriend went on a research trip to the Galapagos, and so I haven't done a damn thing. Oh well! Believe me- soon enough there will be more worthless Mojifer-junk floating around, so don't fret!
--The Admiral
The last few weeks I have been working with King Thor on the Republic of Thoronia game, and undertaking that hopefully will be ready sometime in late july/early august... and that's all I've got to say about it right now... no screen shots, no special "inside the game"... nothing. Maybe as june wears on we'll have some kind of sneak peak.
Otherwise, I haven't worked on shit. I got a cold, my girlfriend went on a research trip to the Galapagos, and so I haven't done a damn thing. Oh well! Believe me- soon enough there will be more worthless Mojifer-junk floating around, so don't fret!
--The Admiral
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
On Zoltan...
So I forgot to mention a most important part about Zoltan... The intro music and sound effects for the moon, Zoltan, and sacrifices were made by my good friend King Thor! If it weren't for his help, Zoltan would not have been as great as he is...
So thank you King Thor, and thank you Republic of Thoronia...
--Mojiferous
p.s. Soon enough the Republic of Thoronia game will be out for iPhone, and everyone will be able to experience the wonders of Thoronia!
So thank you King Thor, and thank you Republic of Thoronia...
--Mojiferous
p.s. Soon enough the Republic of Thoronia game will be out for iPhone, and everyone will be able to experience the wonders of Thoronia!
Friday, April 25, 2008
Huzzah!
Somebody at Sofotex gave Zoltan a "5-star" rating... At least someone has a sense of humor when it comes to software these days... Zoltan is far from a "5-star" program, but it sure as hell is hilariously bizarre (in my opinion, at least...) So here's to the anonymous Mac Admin at Sofotex who figured Zoltan would be even more preposterous with their gold-foil sticker-star!
--The Admiral
p.s. I also realize that their "5-star" rating could be given to just about anything for no good reason other than self-promotion, but they've never given me one for all the other crap I've got listed there...
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Lobster Widget!
Check it out... I made a Lobster Petting web widget! Now on my blog and the Mojiferous Industries Homepage! OR... you can see it all by itself Here (where it is functional on both iPod Touch and iPhone...)
Good Pettin'!
--Mojiferous
Good Pettin'!
--Mojiferous
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Zoltan Released!
Zoltan 2.0 is done and now available Here!
You can now sacrifice things, cut Zoltan's grass, serve tea, read the Book of Zoltan, and so much more!
Have fun!
--Mojiferous
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Zoltan Nearly Ready!
Zoltan is pretty much done... and is stranger than ever before... Version 2.0 not only maintains the strange weather-forecasting features of 1.0, but also adds ritual sacrifice, grass cutting, mustache shaving, a drunken moon, the Book of Zoltan, and an easy-to use toolbar! It even includes the Mojiferous Industries Mustache Manager 1.0! My goal is to have him finished by early next week, pending some icon design and [unhelpful] help design! So... beware!
--Mojiferous
p.s. Zoltan is also now a processor hog, due mostly to my lackadaisical graphics programming... apparently updating 5 or 6 800x600 graphics layers and all of their accompanying information can be a CPU hog... who knew? I've thought about building Zoltan into a Quartz composition for a while, and maybe this is the time to do it...
--Mojiferous
p.s. Zoltan is also now a processor hog, due mostly to my lackadaisical graphics programming... apparently updating 5 or 6 800x600 graphics layers and all of their accompanying information can be a CPU hog... who knew? I've thought about building Zoltan into a Quartz composition for a while, and maybe this is the time to do it...
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Minor Updates, etc.
So while undertaking a major update to Zoltan, I finished off a minor update for Atomic Combat, finally getting it fully Exposé compatible and expanding its error handling (so it doesn't just crash when the "sounds" folder isn't present.)
In other news, The Good King Thor and I have begun a project... A game project of mindshitting complexity, a project that will make Myst look simple and well-programmed... There will be more news to come, I assure you!
--The Admiral
In other news, The Good King Thor and I have begun a project... A game project of mindshitting complexity, a project that will make Myst look simple and well-programmed... There will be more news to come, I assure you!
--The Admiral
Monday, March 24, 2008
Anyone speak Swedish?
The Swedish Macworld just ran a top 10 about... something. And... Wrote a short article in Swedish about desktop cigarette (You too can be mystified right here.) I am honored, proud, and way out of my league- Romance languages? No problem. German? I can get by. Russian, Hebrew, Arabic, Japanese, Hungarian, Navajo, Chinese, Vietnamese, or Nahautl? I can find someone to translate. But Swedish? I'm stumped and so is my faithful friend babelfish. So I can only piece together a vague idea of what Desktop Cigarette's little blurb is all about- something about the docka, my wonderful programmen, and of course my stunning förståeligt.
- Mojif
- Mojif
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Article on Mojiferous Industries in The Escapist Magazine!
Okay... so this is old news by now, but I forgot to "blog" about it... To update my "web 2.0" presence and keep everyone informed about the latest happenings within my life.
But no, really- I forgot all about mentioning the article (which you can read HERE) in the Mojiferblog...
Anyway, the article is really good, I talk about lobsters and urinals and bears on tricycles. And then I drop my pants!
--Mojiferous
p.s. In other news, I'm updating Zoltan. He looks better, sounds better, and has way too many features to make him a widget (and therefore useful.) I may strip him down and do so, but right now... not so much.
But no, really- I forgot all about mentioning the article (which you can read HERE) in the Mojiferblog...
Anyway, the article is really good, I talk about lobsters and urinals and bears on tricycles. And then I drop my pants!
--Mojiferous
p.s. In other news, I'm updating Zoltan. He looks better, sounds better, and has way too many features to make him a widget (and therefore useful.) I may strip him down and do so, but right now... not so much.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Instructions!
So a few people have googled "Atomic Combat Instructions", so I figured I would make an attempt at an instruction manual... There is in-game Apple help, but I figured an indexed PDF help file would be more natural for some people... so I made one. You can get it here.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Atomic Combat finally fucking released!
After a short beta testing period (Thank you King Thor!) the minds in the Mojiferous Industries laboratory decided that Atomic Combat was ready for the spotlight... and she's now available in the wild. You can read more here or download the damn thing to see the craptacularness for yourself here. Good nukin' to ya!
--Mojif
--Mojif
Thursday, March 6, 2008
Pending Beta testing results from the good King Thor, I believe Atomic Combat is actually finally ready for the spotlight... There are a few small but minor annoyances left to tackle, but nothing horrible. But I didn't decide to blog today to release the umpteenth "coming soon!" promise for AC... No, I came here today to let everyone know that the iPhone/iPod Touch SDK comes out today, and I plan to have a busy next few days/weeks as I port Mojiferous Industries titles over... It shouldn't take long, but you never know what kind of ludicrous plans for insane stuff I may come up with along the way...
However, if successful, this will mark the first time that you will actually be able to pet the lobster using your fingers and toes and not just a little black cursor (unless of course you're a fancy-ass that has a touch screen...) Anyway... it's exciting for me, like watching your kids go to college, or taking a really satisfying dump.
--Mojiferous
However, if successful, this will mark the first time that you will actually be able to pet the lobster using your fingers and toes and not just a little black cursor (unless of course you're a fancy-ass that has a touch screen...) Anyway... it's exciting for me, like watching your kids go to college, or taking a really satisfying dump.
--Mojiferous
Friday, February 22, 2008
Atomic Combat (finally) almost done (yet again)
Well... I've said it before, but this time I really mean it- All I have to add to Atomic Combat is help implementation (which should be a load of fun) and it's done. Really done this time. The program has changed a lot over the last year, no longer is there any kind of annoying grey-area diplomacy, no more convoluted research, no more waiting for wars to begin... All in all, I think the program is much healthier, easier to use, and a lot less confusing. The interface has changed a million and a half times, and the gameplay is now something more akin to Battleship, but I think my original quest to make a nuclear warfare game in which no one really ever wins has been fulfilled. Everyone always asks, "You can't win?!" with a look of surprise, but it's damn close to true- the only way to really "win" is to survive an entire war without casualties... which is technically possible, but unlikely.
Anyway... As soon as I have the help files worked out and everything tested a little more, I'll post the damn thing and finally get almost a year of solid coding off my shoulders. If anyone wants to beta test for me, just send me an email!
--Mojiferous
Anyway... As soon as I have the help files worked out and everything tested a little more, I'll post the damn thing and finally get almost a year of solid coding off my shoulders. If anyone wants to beta test for me, just send me an email!
--Mojiferous
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Yet another website redesign...
I revamped the website yet again... This time using TiddlyWiki- which is entirely too nifty- it took some kludging to get everything to fit into place, but now she's up (and mostly) running. I still need to add some pictures, a little more content, and fix a few minor problems, but overall I'm happy with it. I would recommend TiddlyWiki to anyone and everyone- site construction is easy, it can save it's own RSS, only consists of a single page, and isn't quite as worrisome as a PHP-based site... I know it's really dorky, but I'm really excited about it.
--Mojiferous
--Mojiferous
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Welcome 2008!
I know I'm a little late, seeing as how it's already the 19th of January, but I've been lazy... So here it is: The 2007 Mojiferous Recap!
2007 started out rather slowly, with Mojiferous Industries in nascent form, like some kind of billowy gas cosmic gas cloud swirling around inside my mind... and then sometime in March I broke down, adjusted my programmin' slacks, took off my top hat, and proceeded to remake/remodel Lobster Petting for the 21st century... making a OS X version that had all the charm and usefulness of the original (e.g. none.)
March was followed by a lot of other months whose names I forget and by the release of of Zoltan!, the last word in worthlessness. I would like to claim that Zoltan is some kind of deep artistic statement, but even free-associating buccaneers would find that to be a stretch... Maybe with a graphics update and some better user-interface work... Maybe in 2008...
Zoltan! prompted me to actually make a working version of Desktop Cigarette, which was promptly broken a few months later when Apple released Leopard... So I "fixed" it, realized it was more broken than before, and just ended up making it a widget, like it probably should have been in the first place. Oddly, Desktop Cigarette (in all of its forms) has generated more complaints, more stupid questions, more angry people, and more downloads than anything else I've made thus far... (It did make me realize that almost all hardcore anti-smoking people are complete batshit insane nutjobs. The bile, hatred, and blind anger directed at Desktop Cigarette [and me] just because it is associated with smoking is enough to make me want to smoke three packs a day just out of spite.)
Somewhere around late April through September I disappeared while furiously working on the useless monolithic thing I call Atomic Combat... Intro movies, worthless animation, a slew of excitingly byzantine options, and an AI that seemed to have a mind of its own. After three months slaving over the thing, having dreams about weird code, spending days tracking down problems within an increasingly complex labyrinth of code, I kind of gave up: No one could figure out this giant spiffy turd I had shat out, and I couldn't even start to imagine how I would get the stink off...
The horror that was my over-zealous and complicated idea led me to trim down and look for smaller, tighter programming options... and different avenues of inspiration. My friend Kloewer suggested I make a game about locking your dog or baby in a hot car- so I did. Heat Stroke was simple, quick, and basic. I think the sound effects, opening movie, and weird 50's TV theme are a laugh riot; the rest of the world yawned. I expected people to complain, instead Heat Stroke kind of faded off into obscurity...
Followed closely by Motor Pants, my manless pants racing game. The damned thing makes no sense. The interface could be better, but how? Do I really want to waste a whole bunch of time making graphics for a pant racing game? What is the meaning of it all in the first place? Why match coins to propel a pair of pants???? I tried making an intro movie for this one too, but nothing came out- how do you illustrate the idea of "motor pants"? 3D pants racing around like some kind of really terrible console game? My first idea involved a pantsless dancing homeless guy, a plastic lobster, and fireworks, but I scrapped it as too expensive... So I guess you're all stuck with the steaming pile that came out instead (like some kind of gelatinous smelly afterbirth.)
Oh yeah, and some time in October I launched Mojiferous.com- so that whenever I tell someone my website address I can spell, then politely explain why I have such a bizarre site name. Nothing says confusion like "Mojiferous"! It's kind of like having someone badly translate for me all the time- "My client would like to use the steamhorn, as he is differential and gassy. Thank you!"
So that's 2007 in a nutshell. It probably contained peanuts. I spent way too much time slaving away making useless doodads, had some really horrible ideas, and didn't make one thin dime! 2008 looks like it'll be just as useless, filled with even more horrible ideas, and even costlier than 2007! I am currently in the process of making Atomic Combat a viable and interesting game- more in the vein of Battleship than whatever the hell it was like before... maybe something boring and tedious... like solving differential equations. by hand... I would say something encouraging like "look for it in the next few months," but who am I fooling? It should be "watch out for it! It'll probably be a disaster!" (Maybe some feature involving beards or mustaches would improve it... yes... improved beards and mustaches... hmmm.) Here's to poverty and insanity!
2007 started out rather slowly, with Mojiferous Industries in nascent form, like some kind of billowy gas cosmic gas cloud swirling around inside my mind... and then sometime in March I broke down, adjusted my programmin' slacks, took off my top hat, and proceeded to remake/remodel Lobster Petting for the 21st century... making a OS X version that had all the charm and usefulness of the original (e.g. none.)
March was followed by a lot of other months whose names I forget and by the release of of Zoltan!, the last word in worthlessness. I would like to claim that Zoltan is some kind of deep artistic statement, but even free-associating buccaneers would find that to be a stretch... Maybe with a graphics update and some better user-interface work... Maybe in 2008...
Zoltan! prompted me to actually make a working version of Desktop Cigarette, which was promptly broken a few months later when Apple released Leopard... So I "fixed" it, realized it was more broken than before, and just ended up making it a widget, like it probably should have been in the first place. Oddly, Desktop Cigarette (in all of its forms) has generated more complaints, more stupid questions, more angry people, and more downloads than anything else I've made thus far... (It did make me realize that almost all hardcore anti-smoking people are complete batshit insane nutjobs. The bile, hatred, and blind anger directed at Desktop Cigarette [and me] just because it is associated with smoking is enough to make me want to smoke three packs a day just out of spite.)
Somewhere around late April through September I disappeared while furiously working on the useless monolithic thing I call Atomic Combat... Intro movies, worthless animation, a slew of excitingly byzantine options, and an AI that seemed to have a mind of its own. After three months slaving over the thing, having dreams about weird code, spending days tracking down problems within an increasingly complex labyrinth of code, I kind of gave up: No one could figure out this giant spiffy turd I had shat out, and I couldn't even start to imagine how I would get the stink off...
The horror that was my over-zealous and complicated idea led me to trim down and look for smaller, tighter programming options... and different avenues of inspiration. My friend Kloewer suggested I make a game about locking your dog or baby in a hot car- so I did. Heat Stroke was simple, quick, and basic. I think the sound effects, opening movie, and weird 50's TV theme are a laugh riot; the rest of the world yawned. I expected people to complain, instead Heat Stroke kind of faded off into obscurity...
Followed closely by Motor Pants, my manless pants racing game. The damned thing makes no sense. The interface could be better, but how? Do I really want to waste a whole bunch of time making graphics for a pant racing game? What is the meaning of it all in the first place? Why match coins to propel a pair of pants???? I tried making an intro movie for this one too, but nothing came out- how do you illustrate the idea of "motor pants"? 3D pants racing around like some kind of really terrible console game? My first idea involved a pantsless dancing homeless guy, a plastic lobster, and fireworks, but I scrapped it as too expensive... So I guess you're all stuck with the steaming pile that came out instead (like some kind of gelatinous smelly afterbirth.)
Oh yeah, and some time in October I launched Mojiferous.com- so that whenever I tell someone my website address I can spell, then politely explain why I have such a bizarre site name. Nothing says confusion like "Mojiferous"! It's kind of like having someone badly translate for me all the time- "My client would like to use the steamhorn, as he is differential and gassy. Thank you!"
So that's 2007 in a nutshell. It probably contained peanuts. I spent way too much time slaving away making useless doodads, had some really horrible ideas, and didn't make one thin dime! 2008 looks like it'll be just as useless, filled with even more horrible ideas, and even costlier than 2007! I am currently in the process of making Atomic Combat a viable and interesting game- more in the vein of Battleship than whatever the hell it was like before... maybe something boring and tedious... like solving differential equations. by hand... I would say something encouraging like "look for it in the next few months," but who am I fooling? It should be "watch out for it! It'll probably be a disaster!" (Maybe some feature involving beards or mustaches would improve it... yes... improved beards and mustaches... hmmm.) Here's to poverty and insanity!
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